This will be a very sad blog for me. But I would like to share some of it with all of you. Things have been going pretty good in the cannabis department. The pain is at a minimum and my sleeping has improved by 90%. Gotta love cannabis. My studio was doing great over the past 5 years, busy pretty much every day. I loved my job. I wish everyone could have a job that they enjoyed to go to everyday. It really does make a difference in your life when you love what you do. The season has come to an end and yes, I did close the studio. It was a sad day closing the doors.
I have been going to see my Mom more often now. Things are not going that great for her at the home. The nurses there can’t seem to calm her down at all. She has now been in the home for about a year. When I go into my Mom’s room in the mornings I love that when she sees me, she gets this big smile on her face, it lights up my morning every day. My only wish would be that she knew who I was, 10 years is a long time for your Mom not to know who you are. People ask me all the time how do I handle it. My answer is you just keep going. It hurts don’t get me wrong, I wish she knew me but I will take whatever I can get right now. My Mom introduces me as her friend. It got to a point when Mom didn’t really want to get out of bed in the morning. When I did get her up, all she wanted to do is sleep in her chair. I couldn’t get her to eat, or do anything really. They are telling me that the end was near. I really didn’t want to hear that right now. It was hard for me to handle. My family wanted to take me to Vegas for my birthday. I agreed to go for 4 days. My Step Dad was going to be taking care of Mom everyday while I was gone. He goes in to see her every day, but he will have to go in earlier since I won’t be there in the morning.
We are off to Vegas. I was a little hesitant because I was thinking my Mom won’t get out of bed and she’ll sleep all day. She hasn’t eaten in weeks. I definitely needed a little break. We were having a great time in Vegas until the phone call. We got there on a Thursday and we got the call Friday night. My Step Dad wants us to come home Mom isn’t doing so well. Off to the airport Saturday morning. I pretty much cried the whole way home. We went straight to the nursing home from the airport. Mom was in a coma. My husband left me there to take our kids home. Then he came back for me a few hours later. I went home and slept for a few hours. First thing in the morning I was back at the home. My whole entire family was there and the nurses kept telling us that today was the day. By 11 am everyone was there. People were coming in to say their goodbyes to my Mom, it was so sad. At around 12:30ish my Mom’s favorite nurse came in and said a beautiful prayer for her. My sister and I were holding her hands. Right after we all said “Amen” my Mom took her last breathe and she was gone. No more pain and suffering. She was gone to meet up with my sister and the rest of her family. R.I.P. Mom. I will miss and love her forever. My Step Dad was devastated when she died. He told all of us he had nothing left to live for. So sad.
We put my Mom to rest, the service was very nice. She had a lot of friends. I saw people I haven’t seen in years. I still cry for her, what can I say. My family was going through a tough time and now my Step Dad was diagnosed with Lymphoma.